Why You Should Do Stuff On Your Own

Posted by on Feb 24, 2010 in Blogging advice

Why You Should Do Stuff On Your Own

I got a few emails from a friend asking me for example whether it’s ok to link from T2 and T3 pages to other people, whether he should use that link above the fold or below the fold (which I all answered) and then he also asked me:

“thanks Tomaz, when you send out emails for link exchanges, is your subject line: regarding link exchange and what is your version of value exchanges email?”

I personally think that asking for such specific examples is just too much. Here’s my reply:

😉 Don’t you think you could come up with something that would eventually work? Do you really feel satisfied and fulfilled by copying EVERYTHING?

I don’t have an exact email because I come up with something. I don’t have a copy / paste system neither for the email and neither for the subject line.

Sometimes I used “Hi from freedomideas.com” as a subject. I introduced myself and simply suggested a link exchange. Sometimes I used something else.

Try googling “link exchange email” and you’ll surely find some good suggestions.

But to build some confidence you NEED to do things YOURSELF. Otherwise you’ll ALWAYS feel that you don’t know stuff.

You know stuff when you come up with something and it works – maybe not the first time but eventually you learn and adapt.

Now you really know. You have results.

Results build confidence – especially results when you did something on your own. Copying stuff will NOT build confidence – you’ll always feel insecure. (regardless of how much money you earn!)

How do you want to feel in the future? Do you even realize that you have a choice about that?

You have a choice. Get ideas from some people who know stuff, then add your own ideas, modify stuff and come up with something creative and new.

Play with it, adapt and eventually it will work.

As Morpheus said to Neo: “There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

If I tell you something, you might “know” something about it.

But you need to walk the path. You need to do stuff on your own and then you’ll become the One. 😉

You’ll be able to create money out of thin air using just your brain, a laptop and an internet connection.

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    10 Comments

  1. Hi Tomaz,

    Nice to see another post from you here on the site. I’ve been checking back daily hoping you were going to write something. I totally agree with your post here today. Sometimes you really do need to do stuff on your own. I hope the person who asked the question doesn’t get offended by your response. They should take your answer for what it is and take your good advice. We all make mistakes and we make them for one good reason: to learn from them!
    Looking forward to more great posts!
    Thanks,

    Amanda

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  2. hey Tomaz,

    well said,

    you served an Ace with this post,

    I like the Neo bit.

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  3. Great post Tomaz! 😉

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  4. Sweet picture. I just made a Matrix reference to my 6th grade class today (11-12 year olds). They looked at me like I was crazy. That movie is ancient to them I guess.

    I have been working on my site for 15 months and still feel like a beginner. I am getting more confident with time. You said in an earlier post you have to be uncomfortable. That’s how you grow and learn when you test your limits.

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  5. Hi Tomaz,

    Another great post, thank you. I think all of the marketing hype in the “make money online” niche has everyone always looking for shortcuts.

    I’ve fallen victim to this at times, and I constantly have to remind myself that this is a real business and takes real work. No *one thing* will change everything overnight.

    Quoting Vincent Van Gogh, “Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”

    The best part about getting out there and doing things on your own is that you learn quickly from your failures. In fact, I’d say you learn *more* from your failures than anything else! Embrace them, and just keeping taking action… it will get there.

    Cheers,

    -Devin

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  6. I agree! It’s a good idea to strike the right balance between copying others and figuring out stuff yourself.

    My personal opinion is that when you begin something new, start by trying to find good ideas from others who are successful. Don’t figure out everything from scratch.

    However, you’ll find that the same thing that someone else does to be successful may not work for you in the exact same way. BUT it provides a good starting point from which you will have to apply your own brains to figure out how to become successful.

    And I totally agree that until you achieve success on your own you don’t build confidence which will limit your future success.

    Excellent post, Tomaz!

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  7. OK, I disagree.

    If this person has built an SBI site to the point where he’s ready to start connecting with people for link exchanges, then he’s had to do LOTS of stuff by himself.

    Asking for as much information as he can get from someone who’s jumped through all the hoops successfully is not lazy – it’s SMART! After all, that’s why we read this site!

    He asked for more than you wanted to give at that point, and there’s no reason why you should give one iota more than you feel like giving. But I think it’s unfair to suggest that this is because he has some kind of problem. And I think it’s unfair to suggest you’re not going to go further because saying no to this particular request is for his own good, because saying no is a better way to help him.

    Unfair and unnecessarily defensive.

    Just let him know you’ve reached your limit. You give plenty of value; you have the right to set limits.

    [Reply]

    Tomaz Reply:

    We’re not exactly on the same page, Laura.

    If the person used SBI’s Action Guide (and got to the point of building links), he has done NOTHING by himself.

    EVERYTHING was explained to him. Sure, he had to type and click by himself but that’s obvious, right.

    What I mean is that he didn’t have to make any decisions by going into the “unknown”. It’s ALL explained in the AG, Help, SBI TNT or forum posts.

    But now he had to do something which was not explicitly explained in the AG – how to ask for an email exchange. (although he could modify and use the Value Exchange email if he wanted).

    This is what I suggest he does on his own – despite the doubt and the factor of “unknown” – make the decision and come up with something original.

    The “problem” that I see is not in asking for help but in the level of detail when asking for help.

    If you go too far, you lose self-confidence, creativity and basically become dependent on others – instead of becoming self-confident and independent in the process of learning.

    My view is that this is not a path to success and I openly share it. I of course cannot control how you perceive it.

    I see myself here as a coach guiding someone to success with online business.

    If someone wants to climb a mountain, they need a guide. That guide will show them the way which is faster and safer.

    But that guide will NOT tell them exactly where to step and where to put each foot on the way. That’s is what this person is question was starting to do – he started to ask me where to put each foot on the way to the mountain.

    I neither have the time and energy to tell him 1000 times what exactly to do and neither is that beneficial for his personal growth and his long term success in any endeavor.

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  8. Wow! As one who has benefited greatly from your wise words in answers to my seemingly dumb questions, I take your point 100%. There are times when I feel totally incapable of making a decision about this or that – I feel paralyzed by my indecision and wonder who I can ask for help. But there’s only so many times you can ask a person for help, you have to do it yourself. In time as confidence builds it becomes motivating, empowering and inspirational in itself.

    Caroline

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  9. Isn’t it ideas and concept that work rather than blueprints? To my way of thinking it’s never good to copy exactly what someone else has done, is it?

    That way the great ideas become mundane. What perhaps starts of as a killer email subject line for link exchanges will just get deleted.

    Way back in January when I read this post http://www.freedomideas.com/how-to-build-your-own-successful-website-by-reverse-engineering-successful-sites/ about reverse engineering succesful sites I thought “Great idea, but isn’t that copying?” So I posted my concerns.

    Part of the answer from Tomaz is very relevant to this thread – he wrote:-

    “But if you’d like to build some self-esteem and self-confidence, then do something original. Take my idea (that’s why I am writing this blog), do some brainstorming and come up with something original.”

    So I took his idea, poked and prodded at it, added some BAM!, built on it a little and ended up building myself a new site. It’s not a runaway sucess (yet), but earns enough to pay for itself, pay a few bills and traffic is slowly building. All it needs now is TLC and a little more BAM.

    Even though it was built by taking ideas from other sucessful sites, it’s original content and the directions I now plan to take is total original and not on any of the sites I used for ideas.

    Tomaz also wrote in the same post — “You’ll feel very good, trust me.”

    Know what? He’s spot on! It feels damn good watching traffic numbers and google money add up every week. I know if I’d simply copied another site it wouldn’t feel so good and I wouldn’t have gained the confidence and knowledge to do it again, which I plan to very soon.

    Rock on . . .

    [Reply]

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